You know it's going to be a good week when Monday leaves you feeling as tired as a Friday. Any extra task outside of the must-dos like go to work, drop off kid, pick up kid, take care of kid, (try to) take care of self really tips the tired factor. Today, I ran to Target after work to pick up some overnight diapers.
We've found Ethan wet almost every morning during the last week. He consistently sleeps on his stomach now and has been taking a very large bottle at night. Close to 1.5 to 2x the amount of a daytime bottle. Last night just before midnight, he's screaming bloody murder. Like, utterly hysterical. He was drenched and it woke him up. We only have one waterproof mattress cover, but luckily, we have extra mattress protector pads we can layer.
So yeah, Target. You can't go into Target and leave without spending less than $50, and true to form, I left with one box of diapers, two boxes of formula, some laundry detergent, some Gladware and two dresses. Tomorrow I need to dress up for work. I am way too fat still for my old clothes.
The sad part here is that in the past, I've tried on Target clothes. Xhiliration is for juniors, no doubt. Mossimo and Converse fit, and Merona may as well be synonymous with "mom jeans" because of the generous cut for...everywhere. I've tried on their clothes in the past and immediately dismissed them due to poor fit, but now, they were just the thing I was looking for. I bought two Merona dresses. I don't care anymore.
I am a suburban Asian mom who drives a minivan.
That looks odd in print. (More alarmingly, WHEN did this happen?? I'm too cool for this...right?)
Regardless.
I pick up my son from daycare. I'm hella tired and yet when I see him and his big toothless grin, I can't help but smile back and cuddle my big squishy baby. Sometimes it's hard and feels like such a chore. Other times it's great. Like when we took him to the zoo for the first time yesterday. He didn't care. Nevermind the orangutang directly overhead, or the zebra 20 feet in front of us when you have a bib you can shove in your face the entire time you're out, right? It was nice to do something as a family.
A half hour later we're back home and Ethan's fussy so I nurse him to soothe him and he falls asleep. Good god, what IS that smell? It smells like...dirty hamster. Ew. It's foul. It wafts. Oh. Right, it's my son. I scrubbed the helmet extra hard this evening.
We pushed the couch back to leave more floor space between it and the TV. The play mat and swing are now in front of the couch and the coffee table is BEHIND the couch which doesn't work at all. But, we get to lay on the floor together and keep an eye on Ethan. Before, there wasn't any room in that living space.
Ethan is getting better at grabbing things. I dangle the tethered pacifier, or Sophie, or his favorite moose and he will grab it and shove it in his mouth. Today, he actually got the pacifier in his mouth the correct way by himself and sucked on it instead of trying to suck on it while trying to play with it at the same time. He grabs fistfuls of my hair and won't let go. He'll grab anything within reach, so I will enjoy the fact that he still isn't very mobile at the moment. I'm not counting the uncoordinated rolling.
He enjoys playing with his toys. It's so cute.
He does this funny thing when he's about to go to sleep. He moans and it sounds like his batteries are dying until the moaning stops. Sounds like he just kinda gives up, but he's just falling asleep. We are smarter now, and if we hear him wake in the night, we will wait it out and see if he falls back asleep. There have been many times where I'll get up to make a bottle and by the time I turn the corner with it, the house is quiet. Huh?? (Though sometimes he will just get up a half hour later anyway so I learned NOT to put the bottle in the fridge right away...)
He loves chewing on cloth. I bought a bunch of cloth diaper inserts that we were going to use as burp cloths, but they were very coarse so ended up sitting in the bib drawer unused. He will grab it, ball it up and start gnawing away at it. This can go on for a while. Usually this is his morning activity and it will keep him busy in the crib for a half hour. When I get him, he's got a booger mustache, his sheet has dried boogers all over it, and the cloth he is chewing is also all boogered up. We call him booger boy.
(Why are babies so boogery??)
We spend a disproportionate amount of time sucking out boogers. I don't remember when Ethan wasn't congested, but it was probably sometime before he was 8 weeks old. Sad, right?
Big day tomorrow. First event with the customer on my new project. Thank god for that Merona dress.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Hump Day
You know what's a bad idea? Playing Cards Against Humanity with little ones who are in middle school. I (mistakenly) assumed that kids grow up super fast these days, but I guess it depends on which kids because when the question read, "My guilty pleasure is ______" and someone threw in "Penis breath.", that got a giggle followed by, "Ew, penises smell?"
Nevermind the obvious question of how, exactly, one gets penis breath. That came up two hours later. Nobody wanted to address that question, so I said, "You see how Ethan wants to put EVERYTHING in his mouth?" Poor little bugger is teething. "YOU also have that same option, you just choose not to."
I'm going to be a great parent one day. You know, when there are stickier situations than a poopy diaper to navigate.
We are one week into the helmet usage and Ethan still doesn't care, but he sometimes does because on the back of his head where the flat spot is the worst, he has little red bumps. I thought it might be eczema. He swipes at it when he is frustrated. As soon as I take off the helmet on the changing table, he goes straight for that spot. Swipe swipe swipe. Scratch scratch scratch. When I redirect his hand, he gets frustrated and wants to scratch that spot MORE. Go figure.
His follow up appointment was yesterday. Grant took him and said the occupational therapist eyeballed the helmet fit, took it to the back, made some changes and sent them on their way. Asked if we were able to see any changes. Um, aside from my son looking like he is ready at any moment to play sports? NO. It has been only one week. Give me a break, people!
That's it? No scans? No measurements? Nope, not this week. Next week they're supposed to have a 3-D model. We wondered if these helmets are custom made...
The thing with the helmet is that it does not fit snugly. The skull is supposed to grow into it, so due to gaps between it and the scalp, it will shift a little. The helmet is still a perfect little sphere and we wonder if that was the main contributor for Ethan sleeping on his stomach now. Did the helmet help with the roll? Probably. Was he not rolling before the helmet because he was getting stuck on the flat spot of his head? Probably. (Not!) I think daycare has him doing a lot more tummy time so he's just stronger in general.
And, in case you're wondering, the helmet still smells. ;( The decals for the helmet came in two days ago. I was excited about decorating it before we had it, but now that we do, the thought of having that stank thing anywhere near me for a prolonged period of time is just...awful! I still would like to do it this weekend.
Ethan is definitely teething. He is drooling all over everything. Daycare sometimes changes his clothes because he saturates himself so I put a bunch of plain onesies in his drawer there. He definitely can show excitement now. For example, when I entice him with something he wants, like dangling a toy in front of him, he goes "hoo hoo hoo" while flapping his arms and legs. Reminds me of jellyfish propulsion for some reason, but either way, it's very cute. Then, he reaches clumsily, grabs the artifact and indiscriminately shoves it in his mouth. He still loves his soothie pacifier since it is gummy all the way around so he can chew on it. He loves his moose too.
The sky is beginning to brighten. Crazy how my days now begin at 4:30am. I haven't been feeling that great lately; runny nose and sore throat. Not sure what that's about, but I AM sure that there are three days until the weekend. Hooray hump day!
Nevermind the obvious question of how, exactly, one gets penis breath. That came up two hours later. Nobody wanted to address that question, so I said, "You see how Ethan wants to put EVERYTHING in his mouth?" Poor little bugger is teething. "YOU also have that same option, you just choose not to."
I'm going to be a great parent one day. You know, when there are stickier situations than a poopy diaper to navigate.
We are one week into the helmet usage and Ethan still doesn't care, but he sometimes does because on the back of his head where the flat spot is the worst, he has little red bumps. I thought it might be eczema. He swipes at it when he is frustrated. As soon as I take off the helmet on the changing table, he goes straight for that spot. Swipe swipe swipe. Scratch scratch scratch. When I redirect his hand, he gets frustrated and wants to scratch that spot MORE. Go figure.
His follow up appointment was yesterday. Grant took him and said the occupational therapist eyeballed the helmet fit, took it to the back, made some changes and sent them on their way. Asked if we were able to see any changes. Um, aside from my son looking like he is ready at any moment to play sports? NO. It has been only one week. Give me a break, people!
That's it? No scans? No measurements? Nope, not this week. Next week they're supposed to have a 3-D model. We wondered if these helmets are custom made...
The thing with the helmet is that it does not fit snugly. The skull is supposed to grow into it, so due to gaps between it and the scalp, it will shift a little. The helmet is still a perfect little sphere and we wonder if that was the main contributor for Ethan sleeping on his stomach now. Did the helmet help with the roll? Probably. Was he not rolling before the helmet because he was getting stuck on the flat spot of his head? Probably. (Not!) I think daycare has him doing a lot more tummy time so he's just stronger in general.
And, in case you're wondering, the helmet still smells. ;( The decals for the helmet came in two days ago. I was excited about decorating it before we had it, but now that we do, the thought of having that stank thing anywhere near me for a prolonged period of time is just...awful! I still would like to do it this weekend.
Ethan is definitely teething. He is drooling all over everything. Daycare sometimes changes his clothes because he saturates himself so I put a bunch of plain onesies in his drawer there. He definitely can show excitement now. For example, when I entice him with something he wants, like dangling a toy in front of him, he goes "hoo hoo hoo" while flapping his arms and legs. Reminds me of jellyfish propulsion for some reason, but either way, it's very cute. Then, he reaches clumsily, grabs the artifact and indiscriminately shoves it in his mouth. He still loves his soothie pacifier since it is gummy all the way around so he can chew on it. He loves his moose too.
The sky is beginning to brighten. Crazy how my days now begin at 4:30am. I haven't been feeling that great lately; runny nose and sore throat. Not sure what that's about, but I AM sure that there are three days until the weekend. Hooray hump day!
Friday, June 19, 2015
Boo Boo Le Pew
Oh. My. God.
The helmet STINKS. Like, literally. It's foul and sticks in your nose once you smell it. I'm going to have to sprinkle the entire house with coffee beans. I hoped it wouldn't, but let's face it: helmet is to head as shin guards are to shins, except imagine wearing your shin guards nonstop. It's bad enough just once a week for soccer and never cleaning them! The white foam already has some yellowish discoloration from sweat and oil.
Even with the care instructions, it still smells. I scrub and scrub and scrub and still cannot get the evil out. There's only so much I can do and the care instructions discourage using products because it could be irritating to the skin. I guess that just affirms that whatever gets into the foam STAYS there.
There's a natural room deodorizer spray called Fresh Wave that was recommended by the helmet people. It arrived yesterday, so tonight, I scrubbed the helmet with a dry towel to pick up moisture and oils. Then, 70% rubbing alcohol on another dry towel to scrub the inside of the helmet. I did several rounds of the alcohol scrub. I could still smell the funk. Next, the Fresh Wave spray and a silent prayer. I let it sit for a while, then wiped it clean and set it out to dry. It helped a little. Tomorrow, I'm going to try it again in the morning and let it sit in the sun.
Ew.
The good news is that Ethan still doesn't care. I am in disbelief. How could he not notice? Babies are something else, truly.
His teachers at daycare have been very accommodating and are totally fine with handling the helmet. Even the director of the school learned how do it too! They take it off and wipe the sweat out at every diaper change. They try to do diaper changes every two hours.
So yeah, the helmet is working out. We are still adjusting to the added overhead and I am still clumsy when handling it. It's awkward but feel normal soon enough.
Better yet, daycare is working out! I was very pleased today with the pictures I got. The teachers were on the floor entertaining the babies with circle time, story time, mirror time.... It was full of activities that I know weren't provided at the other daycare. I have no regrets about transferring him out. I'm done with the nanny search and don't feel anxious about rushing out of work to rescue him. The teachers are sweet and nurturing. They LIKE kids.
It is such a relief. Hopefully they will still cuddle him as the stink factor can only increase during the course of his treatment. Ha!
The helmet STINKS. Like, literally. It's foul and sticks in your nose once you smell it. I'm going to have to sprinkle the entire house with coffee beans. I hoped it wouldn't, but let's face it: helmet is to head as shin guards are to shins, except imagine wearing your shin guards nonstop. It's bad enough just once a week for soccer and never cleaning them! The white foam already has some yellowish discoloration from sweat and oil.
Even with the care instructions, it still smells. I scrub and scrub and scrub and still cannot get the evil out. There's only so much I can do and the care instructions discourage using products because it could be irritating to the skin. I guess that just affirms that whatever gets into the foam STAYS there.
There's a natural room deodorizer spray called Fresh Wave that was recommended by the helmet people. It arrived yesterday, so tonight, I scrubbed the helmet with a dry towel to pick up moisture and oils. Then, 70% rubbing alcohol on another dry towel to scrub the inside of the helmet. I did several rounds of the alcohol scrub. I could still smell the funk. Next, the Fresh Wave spray and a silent prayer. I let it sit for a while, then wiped it clean and set it out to dry. It helped a little. Tomorrow, I'm going to try it again in the morning and let it sit in the sun.
Ew.
The good news is that Ethan still doesn't care. I am in disbelief. How could he not notice? Babies are something else, truly.
His teachers at daycare have been very accommodating and are totally fine with handling the helmet. Even the director of the school learned how do it too! They take it off and wipe the sweat out at every diaper change. They try to do diaper changes every two hours.
So yeah, the helmet is working out. We are still adjusting to the added overhead and I am still clumsy when handling it. It's awkward but feel normal soon enough.
Better yet, daycare is working out! I was very pleased today with the pictures I got. The teachers were on the floor entertaining the babies with circle time, story time, mirror time.... It was full of activities that I know weren't provided at the other daycare. I have no regrets about transferring him out. I'm done with the nanny search and don't feel anxious about rushing out of work to rescue him. The teachers are sweet and nurturing. They LIKE kids.
It is such a relief. Hopefully they will still cuddle him as the stink factor can only increase during the course of his treatment. Ha!
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Helmet Day and Physical Therapy
Ethan got his helmet today and he didn't seem to care at all. He just looked around and then continued playing with his giraffe toy. The occupational therapist left us for fifteen minutes to let Ethan acclimate then returned to see how the helmet settled. She then marked up the helmet for trimming. It was too low in the front covering his eyebrows. It was too low by one ear. After going over care instructions and watching us remove and replace the helmet on E, we were good to go.
We are supposed to take the helmet off every 3-4 hours to look for discoloration for where the helmet might be rubbing against his head. So far so good. When it is off, we can dry the sweat off the inside of the helmet and his head. It can come off for one hour each day for bath time. His head needs to be washed EVERY day. The helmet needs to be wiped down with alcohol and dried completely EVERY day. There are weekly follow up appointments.
The day before, we saw a pediatric occupational therapist. We are also supposed to do simple stretches to loosen E's neck and leaning preference. So when he is on his back, we turn his head to look over one shoulder, then the other. Then, bring ear to shoulder on the same side.
Hopefully between the helmet, physical therapy and the sessions with the pediatric chiropractor, all this will be sorted out in the next two months!
There's a website specializing in vinyl decals to decorate the cranial bands, so I'm anxiously waiting for E's to arrive in the mail. I'm excited about making it a cute accessory because right now, it looks like a boxing helmet.
We are supposed to take the helmet off every 3-4 hours to look for discoloration for where the helmet might be rubbing against his head. So far so good. When it is off, we can dry the sweat off the inside of the helmet and his head. It can come off for one hour each day for bath time. His head needs to be washed EVERY day. The helmet needs to be wiped down with alcohol and dried completely EVERY day. There are weekly follow up appointments.
The day before, we saw a pediatric occupational therapist. We are also supposed to do simple stretches to loosen E's neck and leaning preference. So when he is on his back, we turn his head to look over one shoulder, then the other. Then, bring ear to shoulder on the same side.
Hopefully between the helmet, physical therapy and the sessions with the pediatric chiropractor, all this will be sorted out in the next two months!
There's a website specializing in vinyl decals to decorate the cranial bands, so I'm anxiously waiting for E's to arrive in the mail. I'm excited about making it a cute accessory because right now, it looks like a boxing helmet.
The Grill…The Grill..
…The Grill is on Fire.
We don't need no water… and I'm sure you know the rest of the real song, but yes. that is what I did on Saturday. We invited Chuck and the neighbor who lives on the other side of the block on the other side of his yard who also works at the same company if you can believe it. Eric and his wife have a little one who is five weeks younger than E.
It's really nice to hang out with first time parents who are going through the same thing. Like us, they don't have family in the area either We share stories of how challenging things are. We assure them it gets better since we are five weeks ahead. We don't feel embarrassed when a baby cries, or we need to leave early because we're tired.
But yeah. I put the Bubba burgers on the grill. I came back and flipped them. I went back inside to check on the corn and baked beans on the stove. I went back out and the grill was smoking. Like, A LOT of smoke...
I opened the lid. Flames shot up from the right side of the grill where I laid the bacon cheddar burgers. The left side had the original patties. I quickly got the food off the grill and was lucky. Only two of the bacon cheddar burgers were blackened. The rest of the food was fine. The original burgers were grilled perfectly. The "good" bacon burgers were well done but not ruined.
I'm supposed to clean the grill which I was told is a royal pain. Chuck warned us that the fire would happen after looking at it last time we used it. I didn't think it would actually happen though! So I guess no grilling out until I get it cleaned up. Boo.
It's really nice to hang out with first time parents who are going through the same thing. Like us, they don't have family in the area either We share stories of how challenging things are. We assure them it gets better since we are five weeks ahead. We don't feel embarrassed when a baby cries, or we need to leave early because we're tired.
But yeah. I put the Bubba burgers on the grill. I came back and flipped them. I went back inside to check on the corn and baked beans on the stove. I went back out and the grill was smoking. Like, A LOT of smoke...
I opened the lid. Flames shot up from the right side of the grill where I laid the bacon cheddar burgers. The left side had the original patties. I quickly got the food off the grill and was lucky. Only two of the bacon cheddar burgers were blackened. The rest of the food was fine. The original burgers were grilled perfectly. The "good" bacon burgers were well done but not ruined.
I'm supposed to clean the grill which I was told is a royal pain. Chuck warned us that the fire would happen after looking at it last time we used it. I didn't think it would actually happen though! So I guess no grilling out until I get it cleaned up. Boo.
Saturday, June 13, 2015
What's new with me and Boo Boo?
Let's see, what's new with Ethan?
He is still super cute in the morning. I love it when he greets me with a nice big toothless grin as he's squirming in his crib. He still can't roll quite yet, but if he's on his stomach he can (eventually) roll onto his back. When he is already on his back, he lifts his legs straight up into the air and they fall to either side. He sleeps this way now, and rarely will we find him on his back after putting him down.
He has more upper body strength. Tummy time meltdowns occur less frequently though he can only tolerate so much, but it is clear that propping up and looking around is much easier. Now, he's even crinkling the textured flaps of the play mat. His head control is pretty good. He likes being propped up in the sling, and on a lap.
He can grab things (sorta). Before, if I held a toy in front of him, he would look at it. Now, he looks at it and makes a Frankenstein grab at it, then immediately tries to put it in his mouth. We've tried a bunch of different toys, but the moose is STILL the clear winner.
Ugh.
I just remembered that he threw up all over it during dinner last night and I was supposed to put that, plus the liner for the high chair into the washing machine...but forgot. :(
He drools quite a bit. There's been a noticeable increase in the last month. And by noticeable, that means leaving clean (and dirty) bibs all over the house and possibly several changes of clothing in a day depending on how drenched he gets.
He poops almost every day thanks to Udo's probiotic.
He still vocalizes but not coherently.
He likes music and calms down when we play the CDs from Music Together in the car.
He will watch TV for a little bit provided there are a lot of colors. This works for 10 minutes at best, but that's plenty of time to shower and get dressed.
He is wearing 12 months clothing now. Good lord! Shoving him into 6 mos is just...mean. 9 mos is questionable, so 12 it is.
He is still seeing a pediatric chiropractor. Helmet goes on this Tuesday. Physical therapy starts next week as well.
What's new with me?
I'm 12 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I am now able to fit into my "fat" clothes which are the items I got and wore around 16 weeks when I was still hiding my pregnancy. Does it feel good to be in fat clothes? YES. Why yes it does. Because it certainly beats maternity clothes in terms of marketing. (But not necessarily comfort!!) While it's nice to lose weight without obsessing over it, it is still very hard to get dressed because I don't have a capsule wardrobe at least for this awkward phase. As a result, it takes me a long time to get ready in the morning. A typical morning goes like this:
(in my head)
Ok, ok...pants. White pants? I wore these on Monday but they're still good I think. Sniff. Look at creasing. Yup. Okay, now a top. Nursing tank for ease of pumping? Or, t-shirt. Or, nicer tank? Nursing tank doesn't give good cleavage coverage, not for these NatGeo boobs anyway...where's my nursing bra? Okay good. Nursing bra under normal tank top. I'm going to be cold at work though. I need a cardigan or a hoodie or something. What goes with this gray tank top? That black cardigan is too heavy and long. The light long one is cream colored. That does not go with gray. Do I have one that works at all? Maybe this gray hoodie? But, the tank and pants are a notch up from that casual hoodie...
Yes. This is my every single morning. I'll try to get organized this weekend. It would be so nice to wake up and get to work you know, not THREE hours later! I'll have to itemize my morning routine some other time.
Therapy is going well I think, but I am still ungodly tired.
I am still pumping through the night though more relaxed as to the time interval, but I think my supply (as meager as it was to begin with) has taken a hit. That in itself is depressing. I have almost reached the 5 month mark. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. It's hard to do it. It's hard to quit. Breastfeeding is hard too. There are a lot of ups and downs. When I can calm Ethan with the Power of the Boobie, it's fantastic, but this applies to comfort nursing only, since I don't produce what he needs to well, um, not starve to death.
I am still working part time. It has been just too much to adjust to the baby, pumping, working, all the doctors appointments, seeking therapy... I think it sounds nice to "just work part time", but I assure you, I am not laid out on the couch eating dark chocolate and binge watching reruns of The Bachelorette. Part time right now means that I can take time out of my day to pump at work. It means that I can leave early and pick up Ethan. Or, I can leave early and go home to nap for an hour. Or what happens more often is clean up a little. It hasn't resulted much in more time for me for self care, like, get a pedi, or see friends. That happens on the weekend if it happens at all. It doesn't mean more time for my marriage. It just means a slightly more relaxed pace of getting through the day.
I hear Ethan stirring. He is barricaded in the twin bed by pillows while I am pumping, typing and watching the baby monitor. I need to prep a bottle and sneak back in to keep an eye on him. More later!
He is still super cute in the morning. I love it when he greets me with a nice big toothless grin as he's squirming in his crib. He still can't roll quite yet, but if he's on his stomach he can (eventually) roll onto his back. When he is already on his back, he lifts his legs straight up into the air and they fall to either side. He sleeps this way now, and rarely will we find him on his back after putting him down.
He has more upper body strength. Tummy time meltdowns occur less frequently though he can only tolerate so much, but it is clear that propping up and looking around is much easier. Now, he's even crinkling the textured flaps of the play mat. His head control is pretty good. He likes being propped up in the sling, and on a lap.
He can grab things (sorta). Before, if I held a toy in front of him, he would look at it. Now, he looks at it and makes a Frankenstein grab at it, then immediately tries to put it in his mouth. We've tried a bunch of different toys, but the moose is STILL the clear winner.
Ugh.
I just remembered that he threw up all over it during dinner last night and I was supposed to put that, plus the liner for the high chair into the washing machine...but forgot. :(
He drools quite a bit. There's been a noticeable increase in the last month. And by noticeable, that means leaving clean (and dirty) bibs all over the house and possibly several changes of clothing in a day depending on how drenched he gets.
He poops almost every day thanks to Udo's probiotic.
He still vocalizes but not coherently.
He likes music and calms down when we play the CDs from Music Together in the car.
He will watch TV for a little bit provided there are a lot of colors. This works for 10 minutes at best, but that's plenty of time to shower and get dressed.
He is wearing 12 months clothing now. Good lord! Shoving him into 6 mos is just...mean. 9 mos is questionable, so 12 it is.
He is still seeing a pediatric chiropractor. Helmet goes on this Tuesday. Physical therapy starts next week as well.
What's new with me?
I'm 12 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I am now able to fit into my "fat" clothes which are the items I got and wore around 16 weeks when I was still hiding my pregnancy. Does it feel good to be in fat clothes? YES. Why yes it does. Because it certainly beats maternity clothes in terms of marketing. (But not necessarily comfort!!) While it's nice to lose weight without obsessing over it, it is still very hard to get dressed because I don't have a capsule wardrobe at least for this awkward phase. As a result, it takes me a long time to get ready in the morning. A typical morning goes like this:
(in my head)
Ok, ok...pants. White pants? I wore these on Monday but they're still good I think. Sniff. Look at creasing. Yup. Okay, now a top. Nursing tank for ease of pumping? Or, t-shirt. Or, nicer tank? Nursing tank doesn't give good cleavage coverage, not for these NatGeo boobs anyway...where's my nursing bra? Okay good. Nursing bra under normal tank top. I'm going to be cold at work though. I need a cardigan or a hoodie or something. What goes with this gray tank top? That black cardigan is too heavy and long. The light long one is cream colored. That does not go with gray. Do I have one that works at all? Maybe this gray hoodie? But, the tank and pants are a notch up from that casual hoodie...
Yes. This is my every single morning. I'll try to get organized this weekend. It would be so nice to wake up and get to work you know, not THREE hours later! I'll have to itemize my morning routine some other time.
Therapy is going well I think, but I am still ungodly tired.
I am still pumping through the night though more relaxed as to the time interval, but I think my supply (as meager as it was to begin with) has taken a hit. That in itself is depressing. I have almost reached the 5 month mark. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. It's hard to do it. It's hard to quit. Breastfeeding is hard too. There are a lot of ups and downs. When I can calm Ethan with the Power of the Boobie, it's fantastic, but this applies to comfort nursing only, since I don't produce what he needs to well, um, not starve to death.
I am still working part time. It has been just too much to adjust to the baby, pumping, working, all the doctors appointments, seeking therapy... I think it sounds nice to "just work part time", but I assure you, I am not laid out on the couch eating dark chocolate and binge watching reruns of The Bachelorette. Part time right now means that I can take time out of my day to pump at work. It means that I can leave early and pick up Ethan. Or, I can leave early and go home to nap for an hour. Or what happens more often is clean up a little. It hasn't resulted much in more time for me for self care, like, get a pedi, or see friends. That happens on the weekend if it happens at all. It doesn't mean more time for my marriage. It just means a slightly more relaxed pace of getting through the day.
I hear Ethan stirring. He is barricaded in the twin bed by pillows while I am pumping, typing and watching the baby monitor. I need to prep a bottle and sneak back in to keep an eye on him. More later!
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Big Week: New Daycare, Head Examination, New Project
It seems like things are going well so far at the new daycare. I no longer feel the need to bolt out of work as soon as I clock in to rescue my baby. That's a good sign, right?
It is clean, bright and well maintained. They have security measures. Whenever I call, a person answers. The administrators and teachers are friendly and seem like the want to be there.
They use an app which gives real time updates on what your kid is doing. So, for example, I got one at say, 2:30pm for a wet diaper. Another at 4pm when a bottle was started. A photo at some point to show whatever activity at the time. I'm happy to see tummy time. We still need to drop by unannounced to see what things are like. This center has monitors in the lobby so you can look into the classrooms.
It's a nice place. So far so good. And now, we really appreciate it.
Ethan's first day was Monday and we were totally comfortable handing him over. I'm guessing he got a lot of stimulation that day because he could barely stay awake to have his bedtime bottle.
Tuesday was a big day too. We all got up and left the house together to the helmet people to get measured in order to make it. The only difference from last week is that the image taken involved a stocking over the whole head instead of one that left the face exposed. Why they don't just do the full scan in the first place is beyond me; but it did seem like this second visit was a waste.
We go back on Tuesday for the helmet. :(
It's not quite like that. It's actually more of a band than a helmet. Here's the real site. If you scroll to the bottom, there's a picture of a baby's head from the top view with and without the helmet. This is exactly what's going on with Ethan's head. Poor baby.
In other news, it's trial by fire with the new project. It is definitely different from my old project but I haven't decided if it is better or worse. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of sitting back and observing the dynamic. The big milestone is at the end of the month, and we're almost halfway there. That is, with having to deliver the goods, not our internal status of how we feel we're doing. Ha!
It is clean, bright and well maintained. They have security measures. Whenever I call, a person answers. The administrators and teachers are friendly and seem like the want to be there.
They use an app which gives real time updates on what your kid is doing. So, for example, I got one at say, 2:30pm for a wet diaper. Another at 4pm when a bottle was started. A photo at some point to show whatever activity at the time. I'm happy to see tummy time. We still need to drop by unannounced to see what things are like. This center has monitors in the lobby so you can look into the classrooms.
It's a nice place. So far so good. And now, we really appreciate it.
Ethan's first day was Monday and we were totally comfortable handing him over. I'm guessing he got a lot of stimulation that day because he could barely stay awake to have his bedtime bottle.
Tuesday was a big day too. We all got up and left the house together to the helmet people to get measured in order to make it. The only difference from last week is that the image taken involved a stocking over the whole head instead of one that left the face exposed. Why they don't just do the full scan in the first place is beyond me; but it did seem like this second visit was a waste.
We go back on Tuesday for the helmet. :(
It's not quite like that. It's actually more of a band than a helmet. Here's the real site. If you scroll to the bottom, there's a picture of a baby's head from the top view with and without the helmet. This is exactly what's going on with Ethan's head. Poor baby.
In other news, it's trial by fire with the new project. It is definitely different from my old project but I haven't decided if it is better or worse. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of sitting back and observing the dynamic. The big milestone is at the end of the month, and we're almost halfway there. That is, with having to deliver the goods, not our internal status of how we feel we're doing. Ha!
Monday, June 8, 2015
Weekend Summaries
I must admit that it was nice having the munchkin around all weekend too. Yes, we have him every weekend, but last week was different with him being home since Wednesday. We got out a lot between doctors appointments and social outings. It's starting feel more natural lugging a heavy car seat, bulky diaper bag and overstuffed cross body purse oh, everywhere.
Last weekend, we took a family outing to the Air and Space museum. Lots of walking around in air conditioning? Yes please! Corey treated us to lunch for my belated birthday and even held a fussy baby such that Grant and I could eat like normal people. Which means not shoving food in your face at a speed faster than light. What? Have the luxury to eat slowly? We weren't able to do it very well, at least, not without feeling guilty.
Then, she and I went window shopping and the boys went home. We went to a consignment shop that has higher end items like an LV bag behind the counter. Not gonna lie, I kind of wanted it. But it is definitely one of those things that you regret later...and I have a number of other handbags that I don't use that are a testament to this fact!
The way their consignment works is that they get half and price it competitively, which means that they probably look on ebay then adjust to what they think the wealthy people of this area will pay. They keep an item for 90 days. After the first month, the price automatically drops 20%. After the 2nd month, another 15%. Then it's at the end and you can pick up your stuff (junk?) or they will donate it to a women's shelter.
My mind immediately jumped to a Kate Spade bag I had to have. I paid $170 for it on eBay (retail $225 I believe), used it a couple of times and realized that it was kind of annoying. Now, the same bag sells for around $100 since it has been a while. If the bag sold right away, I'd get $50. But...but...I paid $170 and could get $100 on eBay if I did it myself. But I'm too lazy to do it myself and for someone else to do it and only give me $50, I may as well keep the damned thing, right?
It, along with several other expensive handbags, went into the I'll-put-these-on-eBay-probably-never box and moved to the storage area to be forgotten about. I will put these up on eBay one day, you'll see!!!
Then, we went to the mall where we both hated everything. Corey is tiny and can wear anything. Me? Not so much with the baby weight. Regardless, all the styles are unflattering for fit and flabby folk all the same. The loose, boxy, shapeless clothes scream "I give up", along with "one size fits all" and when something is for everyone it usually doesn't work very well. We went back to the house and hung out for a bit. That was a nice weekend.
This weekend, we interviewed another nanny. She was alright though I wished she had shown up in more professional clothes instead of a belly baring cropped top exposing her belly piercing and true religion brand jeans. Her racing Mini Cooper with stripes on the hood was parked in our driveway. Hmm. In some ways I liked her more than the Cash-Nanny, but in other ways the Cash-Nanny won out. So, yeah...
Then, we were invited to a birthday party through our network of adoptive families and even though Ethan was difficult Friday night into Saturday morning, we still somehow made it out there and everyone LOVED him. Everybody loves babies. Then, they turn into vocal annoying toddlers and people stop caring and become very annoyed. At least, that's what I think happens. Folks get charmed once again when they turn into tiny interactive people. Not sure when that happens.
Then, another surprise! My running buddy-soccer buddy-cycling buddy- everything buddy Steph was in town and contacted me last minute to hang out. Why, of course, ANYTHING for you!! We planned on going for a long walk in the neighborhood, but instead went to Old Navy and that was great fun. We took Ethan with us too. When we got back, I FORGOT to pass along some pre-pregnancy goodies and she already took off to drive back to Virginia Beach, so Ethan and I went to her husband Eric's parents house to drop off the clothes and of course, his family loved Ethan!
With all of Sunday's excitement, Ethan fell asleep at 7:30pm for the night. I had to nudge him several times to finish his bottle!
The weekend was nice, but man did it FLY by.
During the weekend, Ethan almost discovered his feet. They were in reach, so he grabbed one and tried to get it into his mouth, but wasn't aware that they were his feet...nor was he successful. On the developmental front, he is definitely grabbing for things and enjoys this moose toy (of all things!) which is a bit funny to watch because it is HUGE compared to him. I tried to grab video of the foot grabbing but as soon as he saw the camera, he stopped doing it. Will try again to get that on tape, and also some playing with the moose toy!
Last weekend, we took a family outing to the Air and Space museum. Lots of walking around in air conditioning? Yes please! Corey treated us to lunch for my belated birthday and even held a fussy baby such that Grant and I could eat like normal people. Which means not shoving food in your face at a speed faster than light. What? Have the luxury to eat slowly? We weren't able to do it very well, at least, not without feeling guilty.
Then, she and I went window shopping and the boys went home. We went to a consignment shop that has higher end items like an LV bag behind the counter. Not gonna lie, I kind of wanted it. But it is definitely one of those things that you regret later...and I have a number of other handbags that I don't use that are a testament to this fact!
The way their consignment works is that they get half and price it competitively, which means that they probably look on ebay then adjust to what they think the wealthy people of this area will pay. They keep an item for 90 days. After the first month, the price automatically drops 20%. After the 2nd month, another 15%. Then it's at the end and you can pick up your stuff (junk?) or they will donate it to a women's shelter.
My mind immediately jumped to a Kate Spade bag I had to have. I paid $170 for it on eBay (retail $225 I believe), used it a couple of times and realized that it was kind of annoying. Now, the same bag sells for around $100 since it has been a while. If the bag sold right away, I'd get $50. But...but...I paid $170 and could get $100 on eBay if I did it myself. But I'm too lazy to do it myself and for someone else to do it and only give me $50, I may as well keep the damned thing, right?
It, along with several other expensive handbags, went into the I'll-put-these-on-eBay-probably-never box and moved to the storage area to be forgotten about. I will put these up on eBay one day, you'll see!!!
Then, we went to the mall where we both hated everything. Corey is tiny and can wear anything. Me? Not so much with the baby weight. Regardless, all the styles are unflattering for fit and flabby folk all the same. The loose, boxy, shapeless clothes scream "I give up", along with "one size fits all" and when something is for everyone it usually doesn't work very well. We went back to the house and hung out for a bit. That was a nice weekend.
This weekend, we interviewed another nanny. She was alright though I wished she had shown up in more professional clothes instead of a belly baring cropped top exposing her belly piercing and true religion brand jeans. Her racing Mini Cooper with stripes on the hood was parked in our driveway. Hmm. In some ways I liked her more than the Cash-Nanny, but in other ways the Cash-Nanny won out. So, yeah...
Then, we were invited to a birthday party through our network of adoptive families and even though Ethan was difficult Friday night into Saturday morning, we still somehow made it out there and everyone LOVED him. Everybody loves babies. Then, they turn into vocal annoying toddlers and people stop caring and become very annoyed. At least, that's what I think happens. Folks get charmed once again when they turn into tiny interactive people. Not sure when that happens.
Then, another surprise! My running buddy-soccer buddy-cycling buddy- everything buddy Steph was in town and contacted me last minute to hang out. Why, of course, ANYTHING for you!! We planned on going for a long walk in the neighborhood, but instead went to Old Navy and that was great fun. We took Ethan with us too. When we got back, I FORGOT to pass along some pre-pregnancy goodies and she already took off to drive back to Virginia Beach, so Ethan and I went to her husband Eric's parents house to drop off the clothes and of course, his family loved Ethan!
With all of Sunday's excitement, Ethan fell asleep at 7:30pm for the night. I had to nudge him several times to finish his bottle!
The weekend was nice, but man did it FLY by.
During the weekend, Ethan almost discovered his feet. They were in reach, so he grabbed one and tried to get it into his mouth, but wasn't aware that they were his feet...nor was he successful. On the developmental front, he is definitely grabbing for things and enjoys this moose toy (of all things!) which is a bit funny to watch because it is HUGE compared to him. I tried to grab video of the foot grabbing but as soon as he saw the camera, he stopped doing it. Will try again to get that on tape, and also some playing with the moose toy!
Friday, June 5, 2015
P-minus 11 to go. . .
I wasn't in any particular hurry to get to work yesterday. I knew it was the company golf tournament (which is a pay-to-attend event) which clears out the building. I did it once and wanted to kill myself after the 9th hole when someone told me we were only halfway done. Halfway done after three frickin' hours? What kind of torture is golf anyway?
Needless to say, I am not a golf person. It is a game that is made unnecessarily hard by playing on a huge field with a tiny ball hit by a tiny paddle at the end of a very long stick. What's more, you need many of these paddles since having just one isn't sufficient necessitating a tiny cart to drive oneself around said field. Right.
Enough hating on golf.
Knowing it was golf day, I took my time getting ready in the morning to the point where I even pulled out the dreaded scale! This event can only occur first thing in the morning before drinking or eating, and of course after emptying my bladder. Still half asleep, I get onto the scale with low expectations only to find that I'm 11 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight.
Which is great in a way.
Except for the fact that my stomach looks like a baked alaska when I try to sit up. :(
I am still heavy on my feet so my ankles, knees and hips ache still just from walking around too much. It's probably too early to start running again. It would be nice to start working out again partly to fix this pudgy body, partly for my mental health and mostly just for a me activity but it is a low priority right now.
In the meantime, I suppose I can avoid sweets since I have a baked alaskan of my very own.
Needless to say, I am not a golf person. It is a game that is made unnecessarily hard by playing on a huge field with a tiny ball hit by a tiny paddle at the end of a very long stick. What's more, you need many of these paddles since having just one isn't sufficient necessitating a tiny cart to drive oneself around said field. Right.
Enough hating on golf.
Knowing it was golf day, I took my time getting ready in the morning to the point where I even pulled out the dreaded scale! This event can only occur first thing in the morning before drinking or eating, and of course after emptying my bladder. Still half asleep, I get onto the scale with low expectations only to find that I'm 11 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight.
Which is great in a way.
Except for the fact that my stomach looks like a baked alaska when I try to sit up. :(
I am still heavy on my feet so my ankles, knees and hips ache still just from walking around too much. It's probably too early to start running again. It would be nice to start working out again partly to fix this pudgy body, partly for my mental health and mostly just for a me activity but it is a low priority right now.
In the meantime, I suppose I can avoid sweets since I have a baked alaskan of my very own.
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Postpartum
I feel like I am in a fatigued state of limbo. I don't want to go
to work. I don't want to stay home. I don't want to do nothing. I am
too tired to do anything. I love my son. It is a very strange place
for me. I am 4.5 months postpartum.
One thing that has been very difficult for me is knowing what the baseline is for now. Most moms have a normal pregnancy. They take the 12 weeks off with the baby before returning to work. They weren't on bed rest for 14 weeks prior to the arrival of their baby. So, when I wonder if limbo-land is normal for 4.5 months, there's no answer. It just is.
I need to make peace with everything that has happened but I just can't at this moment. I would love to say that I don't know why, but I do and it has to do with hurt, anger, and disappointment. I haven't moved onto acceptance; a place of love and forgiveness of others and oneself. I don't know what it will take to get there but I am praying that therapy will help.
Therapy involves crying. I don't realize how important something is to me until I verbalize it. It's easy to keep thoughts in your head. There's no commitment to action. No physical tie. But once the emotion and action are tied together it can be like an epiphany if you're lucky, or just...really hurtful.
My third session is tomorrow. I'm curious what this week's homework will be. Before, it was making an effort to get more sleep, then doing something for just ME once a week. The good news is that these things do help make things better, but they aren't a fix.
One thing that has been very difficult for me is knowing what the baseline is for now. Most moms have a normal pregnancy. They take the 12 weeks off with the baby before returning to work. They weren't on bed rest for 14 weeks prior to the arrival of their baby. So, when I wonder if limbo-land is normal for 4.5 months, there's no answer. It just is.
I need to make peace with everything that has happened but I just can't at this moment. I would love to say that I don't know why, but I do and it has to do with hurt, anger, and disappointment. I haven't moved onto acceptance; a place of love and forgiveness of others and oneself. I don't know what it will take to get there but I am praying that therapy will help.
Therapy involves crying. I don't realize how important something is to me until I verbalize it. It's easy to keep thoughts in your head. There's no commitment to action. No physical tie. But once the emotion and action are tied together it can be like an epiphany if you're lucky, or just...really hurtful.
My third session is tomorrow. I'm curious what this week's homework will be. Before, it was making an effort to get more sleep, then doing something for just ME once a week. The good news is that these things do help make things better, but they aren't a fix.
"I just had a freak out moment..."
That was the first line of an email I got at work yesterday from my mentor on my new project that I have not yet started. As soon as I get ramped up, he is punting everything to me so he can be full time on the other project he is supporting.
The problem is that when you are split among multiple projects, you're crap at all of them. I know. I'm on three right now. And, I'm part time. How does that work, you ask? IT DOESN'T!
So, the freak out moment was followed by a list of 7 documents due at the end of this month. Usually these documents are cut and pasted and tweaked here and there. This time, they require major revisions. It is June 4th. I am part time. June 30th is the end of the month. I am part time.
Did I mention I am part time?
Clearly, I enjoy writing. Those who hate writing do not blog as a hobby. It's different though when domain knowledge is required. Circuits what? Resistors? You mean those Tic Tac things stuck in the protoboard? Things are going to get interesting real fast, especially since the thing that comes with mommy body is mommy BRAIN.
What was I saying?
The problem is that when you are split among multiple projects, you're crap at all of them. I know. I'm on three right now. And, I'm part time. How does that work, you ask? IT DOESN'T!
So, the freak out moment was followed by a list of 7 documents due at the end of this month. Usually these documents are cut and pasted and tweaked here and there. This time, they require major revisions. It is June 4th. I am part time. June 30th is the end of the month. I am part time.
Did I mention I am part time?
Clearly, I enjoy writing. Those who hate writing do not blog as a hobby. It's different though when domain knowledge is required. Circuits what? Resistors? You mean those Tic Tac things stuck in the protoboard? Things are going to get interesting real fast, especially since the thing that comes with mommy body is mommy BRAIN.
What was I saying?
Nanny #1
So, when you're interviewing a nanny and she says she wants to be paid in CASH...
I liked her though, but we need to talk to others. The link is pretty loose. I asked a friend who has a friend who has a nanny. And that nanny has a friend who is looking for work. The good news is that she is currently employed but the youngest child is starting kindergarten so that's the end of the road. She had one or two other families; same scenario.
I did learn that being a nanny is a career. This particular nanny was looking for a long term commitment. Of course, employment is at will, but we aren't sure what we want to do yet. A nanny is more than twice the cost of daycare.
Kids are expensive.
I liked her though, but we need to talk to others. The link is pretty loose. I asked a friend who has a friend who has a nanny. And that nanny has a friend who is looking for work. The good news is that she is currently employed but the youngest child is starting kindergarten so that's the end of the road. She had one or two other families; same scenario.
I did learn that being a nanny is a career. This particular nanny was looking for a long term commitment. Of course, employment is at will, but we aren't sure what we want to do yet. A nanny is more than twice the cost of daycare.
Kids are expensive.
So long, farewell...
Today was Ethan's last day at daycare. That was unexpected, but perhaps a blessing in disguise since I kept him home with me after his appointment yesterday.
Probably 20 minutes after drop-off, the principal calls to let me know that Ethan is running a 101.6 degree fever and we have to pick him up. No problem. Set up a sick child appointment, let Grant know what's up and take off.
Grant informs me that he was ready to leave with Ethan when he brought him in. Again, the ratio was off, and a new teacher was being scolded at the front desk about not coming in (and not telling anyone) when she was supposed to. Then, she heads off toward the infant room. Great. You know what? It's best to follow your gut as a parent.
When I show up, I tell the teachers that today is the last day because I don't know what the pediatrician will say. Daycare has rules about bringing in sick kids. I pack up his things and say farewell. And just like that, we walk out. There's no fuss over him leaving. His old teacher TEXTED me when she heard Ethan's last day was approaching and was sad she wouldn't see him. I was hoping for a "We'll miss you sweet little guy!" instead of a silent "Good riddance!"
It's okay though. I am home with my munchkin. :)
I gave him some Tylenol, took him to the doctor and he has been doing well so far. He is sleeping...a lot, and you're supposed to let sick babies rest. It has been four hours (!!). I checked his forehead and his temperature is ambient. When I kissed him on the top of his head yesterday, it felt warm. I regret not checking him last night. Novice mom move I guess.
Probably 20 minutes after drop-off, the principal calls to let me know that Ethan is running a 101.6 degree fever and we have to pick him up. No problem. Set up a sick child appointment, let Grant know what's up and take off.
Grant informs me that he was ready to leave with Ethan when he brought him in. Again, the ratio was off, and a new teacher was being scolded at the front desk about not coming in (and not telling anyone) when she was supposed to. Then, she heads off toward the infant room. Great. You know what? It's best to follow your gut as a parent.
When I show up, I tell the teachers that today is the last day because I don't know what the pediatrician will say. Daycare has rules about bringing in sick kids. I pack up his things and say farewell. And just like that, we walk out. There's no fuss over him leaving. His old teacher TEXTED me when she heard Ethan's last day was approaching and was sad she wouldn't see him. I was hoping for a "We'll miss you sweet little guy!" instead of a silent "Good riddance!"
It's okay though. I am home with my munchkin. :)
I gave him some Tylenol, took him to the doctor and he has been doing well so far. He is sleeping...a lot, and you're supposed to let sick babies rest. It has been four hours (!!). I checked his forehead and his temperature is ambient. When I kissed him on the top of his head yesterday, it felt warm. I regret not checking him last night. Novice mom move I guess.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Hello Helmet
We went to Cranial Technologies this morning to get an assessment on just how badly misshapen Ethan's head is. To do this, the baby is undressed to the diaper, dons a stocking cap and sits in the center of a circle with cameras mounted overhead and at equal intervals on the perimeter. A photo is taken, and a 3-D model is rendered from it for measurements.
Before we even saw the digital imagery, our consult with the occupational therapist was enough to know that we were in trouble. Our gut instinct was right. The head shape and facial asymmetry wasn't going to correct itself.
The soonest we can address it is in two weeks. They are working with our insurance company and will call us on Friday to tell us what the cost will be. Depending on how old the child is when treated determines the frequency of visits for adjustments. Think: braces. The sooner the better though since the skull hardens as the child ages. Now, Ethan's is still fairly pliable.
I had terrible mother's guilt over all of this, but now I am starting to realize that this isn't (entirely) my fault. The fact that Ethan was breech for so long and delivered via c-section doesn't help any. Not to say that he was predisposed to this condition, but babies with these factors are more prone to cranial shaping issues.
The good news is that the babies don't seem to care that they are wearing the helmet after a short while, and a couple of parents in the waiting room vouched for that.
Before we even saw the digital imagery, our consult with the occupational therapist was enough to know that we were in trouble. Our gut instinct was right. The head shape and facial asymmetry wasn't going to correct itself.
The soonest we can address it is in two weeks. They are working with our insurance company and will call us on Friday to tell us what the cost will be. Depending on how old the child is when treated determines the frequency of visits for adjustments. Think: braces. The sooner the better though since the skull hardens as the child ages. Now, Ethan's is still fairly pliable.
I had terrible mother's guilt over all of this, but now I am starting to realize that this isn't (entirely) my fault. The fact that Ethan was breech for so long and delivered via c-section doesn't help any. Not to say that he was predisposed to this condition, but babies with these factors are more prone to cranial shaping issues.
The good news is that the babies don't seem to care that they are wearing the helmet after a short while, and a couple of parents in the waiting room vouched for that.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Plagiocephaly. **it Happens.
When I was pregnant, I asked veteran mothers what they couldn't live without. At the top of the list was the Fischer Price Rock n' Play. We got it for Christmas from Ethan's paternal grandparents and when he was born, we put him in it constantly because it cradled him. He looked so peaceful in it. The crib seemed enormous, plus, with the Rock n' Play, we could keep him in our room.
Supposedly, it's for naps, not for bedtime but for the sake of sanity, myself along with many other mothers used it as the primary sleeper. We would try the crib, but Ethan wasn't having it. The crib doesn't provide the same secure feeling as the Rock n' Play does, and it helps with reflux since the baby is propped up at an angle.
I noticed a flat spot developing on his head. That, and a preference to look over his right shoulder which I think partly has to do with the fact that we are right-handed, so everything we do favors the right being free because it is most dexterous. The changing table is a good example.
The flat spot got worse. We painfully transitioned him to the crib. He still favored the right and would always turn his head. We put a blanket roll behind his back to force his head to the left. He would eventually turn it back to the right. It became clear that he was going to do what he was going to do.
Compound that with the fact that daycare rarely does tummy time with him; so his neck muscles weren't strengthened to the point where he could be ambidextrous. Or, an ambi-turner if you're a Zoolander fan. :) Then, doubly compound that with the fact that daycare always has him in a baby-holder be it the swing, some kind of rocker similar to the Rock n' Play, or the crib. All. Day. Long.
Not only did he have a flat spot, but his head was starting to vertically elongate. That cannot be fixed even with the helmet. What's worse? From the top view, his ears are now misaligned. One is farther forward than the other. His forehead slightly bulges on one side, and one eye appears slightly smaller than the other. His misshapen head has crossed over to the point of facial deformity.
Just like everything else pertaining on what-to-do-with-baby, all the information provided no information and it's down to our choice as to what we want to do. Do we take the chance hoping he will outgrow it? But, with all the physics I took in college, the most basic concept of "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" implies that it would take force to mold his head back into shape which is what the helmet does. So, how on earth could he outgrow it? Especially the facial asymmetry.
We pointed it out to daycare hoping they could help us encourage him to look over his left shoulder. Same with naps, but he is never in the crib. Same with tummy time, but no dice. It doesn't matter. His last day is Friday, but the damage has been done.
Supposedly, babies with a traumatic birth experience are more likely to go through this. Given that Ethan was breech resulting in a c-section, it seems doubly traumatic.
He has an appointment with the helmet people tomorrow for a scan and assessment. The following week, he has an evaluation with a pediatric plastic surgeon. Insurance considers this a cosmetic procedure; same as breast implants or liposuction and as such it is not medically necessary. The helmet people will work with insurance, but the base cost of the helmet (plus subsequent visits for adjustments) is $3600.
Between the nanny hunt, helmet research and working with the new daycare while we try to work everything out, I'm hoping we will arrive at a solution we are comfortable with by the end of this month.
Supposedly, it's for naps, not for bedtime but for the sake of sanity, myself along with many other mothers used it as the primary sleeper. We would try the crib, but Ethan wasn't having it. The crib doesn't provide the same secure feeling as the Rock n' Play does, and it helps with reflux since the baby is propped up at an angle.
I noticed a flat spot developing on his head. That, and a preference to look over his right shoulder which I think partly has to do with the fact that we are right-handed, so everything we do favors the right being free because it is most dexterous. The changing table is a good example.
The flat spot got worse. We painfully transitioned him to the crib. He still favored the right and would always turn his head. We put a blanket roll behind his back to force his head to the left. He would eventually turn it back to the right. It became clear that he was going to do what he was going to do.
Compound that with the fact that daycare rarely does tummy time with him; so his neck muscles weren't strengthened to the point where he could be ambidextrous. Or, an ambi-turner if you're a Zoolander fan. :) Then, doubly compound that with the fact that daycare always has him in a baby-holder be it the swing, some kind of rocker similar to the Rock n' Play, or the crib. All. Day. Long.
Not only did he have a flat spot, but his head was starting to vertically elongate. That cannot be fixed even with the helmet. What's worse? From the top view, his ears are now misaligned. One is farther forward than the other. His forehead slightly bulges on one side, and one eye appears slightly smaller than the other. His misshapen head has crossed over to the point of facial deformity.
Just like everything else pertaining on what-to-do-with-baby, all the information provided no information and it's down to our choice as to what we want to do. Do we take the chance hoping he will outgrow it? But, with all the physics I took in college, the most basic concept of "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" implies that it would take force to mold his head back into shape which is what the helmet does. So, how on earth could he outgrow it? Especially the facial asymmetry.
We pointed it out to daycare hoping they could help us encourage him to look over his left shoulder. Same with naps, but he is never in the crib. Same with tummy time, but no dice. It doesn't matter. His last day is Friday, but the damage has been done.
Supposedly, babies with a traumatic birth experience are more likely to go through this. Given that Ethan was breech resulting in a c-section, it seems doubly traumatic.
He has an appointment with the helmet people tomorrow for a scan and assessment. The following week, he has an evaluation with a pediatric plastic surgeon. Insurance considers this a cosmetic procedure; same as breast implants or liposuction and as such it is not medically necessary. The helmet people will work with insurance, but the base cost of the helmet (plus subsequent visits for adjustments) is $3600.
Between the nanny hunt, helmet research and working with the new daycare while we try to work everything out, I'm hoping we will arrive at a solution we are comfortable with by the end of this month.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Daycare Fail. . . AGAIN
I am so furious right now that it feels like I have clenched fists inside of me waiting to punch out like a Jack-in-the-box. I am vibrating with anger.
Maybe this doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is to me.
Every single time I go to daycare whether it's for drop off or pick up, Ethan is in the swing or a baby holder equivalent. Only ONCE did I see him in a bouncer. I haven't seen him in his crib because "he doesn't like the crib", so they let him sleep in the swing which they are not supposed to do. The majority of days, he gets NO tummy time for the 8+ hours he is there. If he does, it's a meager 5 - 10 minutes for the entire day.
There are two "teachers", and it's generous to even call them that. The room is divided with the purpose of keeping mobile infants on one side, and immobile ones on the other so they don't get trampled. Today, there were three mobile infants on Ethan's side. They're playing, of course. One wanted the swing Ethan was in...you know how that goes.
The ratio is four infants to one teacher. There were seven or eight on the immobile side; basically all the kids in the room as if the divider wasn't there. One teacher was sitting in the glider playing on her smartphone. The other teacher was on the other side of the divide doing other things. There were no children on that side.
I show up; I'm not acknowledged at all. This seems to be the norm. As if me picking up or dropping off my kid is a huge inconvenience for them.
I check his log and see that for one of his bottles, he only had 5 out of 6 ounces of breast milk, which means they threw out that last ounce. I haven't told you about my struggles with breastfeeding; just know that it was a while before I took my eyes away from that row of the table.
On the bright side, he had a total of 35 minutes of tummy time, but only because I explicitly wrote it on his sheet when I dropped him off. They are supposed to do this with the infants. It's of utmost importance for their development.
The teachers speak Spanish, which is fine, but every time I'm there, they are speaking Spanish to each other, and not talking to the infants at all in English, which is also important for their development now. Exposure to language, especially because they start learning sounds and patterns now. Oh, and they're also listening to like, 105.9 The X, or some other station with top hits. I walk into Tove Lo singing about putting your body on my body, and excuse my language, but I really would prefer them not to play that shit all day in the infant room. And it is all day. Because when I go in the morning and in the evening, same shit.
My friend says I should tell the administrators, but the truth is this: they are supposedly popping into the classrooms, and they provide coverage as floating teachers since there aren't any aside from them, they surely have been in that room and have seen and heard what is going on.
When we enrolled Ethan, there were three nurturing teachers that we liked. They talked to the kids incessantly. They played with them. Kiddie music was on; nursery rhymes, lullabies...They read to them; even the immobile infants! And now...well, now what?
When we gave notice, the care seemed OK. I was uneasy, but there wasn't a consistent pattern of behavior yet for me to call it out. Now, there definitely is. I am SO happy his last day is Friday.
Part of me wishes I could take a year off to take care of Ethan. The other part of me knows I will go crazy. I want to hire a nanny to care for him but I don't even know where to start the search. I'm trying through word of mouth now, but nobody's talking.
More later.
Maybe this doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is to me.
Every single time I go to daycare whether it's for drop off or pick up, Ethan is in the swing or a baby holder equivalent. Only ONCE did I see him in a bouncer. I haven't seen him in his crib because "he doesn't like the crib", so they let him sleep in the swing which they are not supposed to do. The majority of days, he gets NO tummy time for the 8+ hours he is there. If he does, it's a meager 5 - 10 minutes for the entire day.
There are two "teachers", and it's generous to even call them that. The room is divided with the purpose of keeping mobile infants on one side, and immobile ones on the other so they don't get trampled. Today, there were three mobile infants on Ethan's side. They're playing, of course. One wanted the swing Ethan was in...you know how that goes.
The ratio is four infants to one teacher. There were seven or eight on the immobile side; basically all the kids in the room as if the divider wasn't there. One teacher was sitting in the glider playing on her smartphone. The other teacher was on the other side of the divide doing other things. There were no children on that side.
I show up; I'm not acknowledged at all. This seems to be the norm. As if me picking up or dropping off my kid is a huge inconvenience for them.
I check his log and see that for one of his bottles, he only had 5 out of 6 ounces of breast milk, which means they threw out that last ounce. I haven't told you about my struggles with breastfeeding; just know that it was a while before I took my eyes away from that row of the table.
On the bright side, he had a total of 35 minutes of tummy time, but only because I explicitly wrote it on his sheet when I dropped him off. They are supposed to do this with the infants. It's of utmost importance for their development.
The teachers speak Spanish, which is fine, but every time I'm there, they are speaking Spanish to each other, and not talking to the infants at all in English, which is also important for their development now. Exposure to language, especially because they start learning sounds and patterns now. Oh, and they're also listening to like, 105.9 The X, or some other station with top hits. I walk into Tove Lo singing about putting your body on my body, and excuse my language, but I really would prefer them not to play that shit all day in the infant room. And it is all day. Because when I go in the morning and in the evening, same shit.
My friend says I should tell the administrators, but the truth is this: they are supposedly popping into the classrooms, and they provide coverage as floating teachers since there aren't any aside from them, they surely have been in that room and have seen and heard what is going on.
When we enrolled Ethan, there were three nurturing teachers that we liked. They talked to the kids incessantly. They played with them. Kiddie music was on; nursery rhymes, lullabies...They read to them; even the immobile infants! And now...well, now what?
When we gave notice, the care seemed OK. I was uneasy, but there wasn't a consistent pattern of behavior yet for me to call it out. Now, there definitely is. I am SO happy his last day is Friday.
Part of me wishes I could take a year off to take care of Ethan. The other part of me knows I will go crazy. I want to hire a nanny to care for him but I don't even know where to start the search. I'm trying through word of mouth now, but nobody's talking.
More later.
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