Chatty

One thing that amazes me is E's ability to comprehend every single thing we are saying despite his ability to communicate in a well versed fashion with us.  He is at the point now where he can follow through a string of commands.  For example, "When we get home, I need to you take of your jacket, shoes and socks, then put your socks in the hamper!  Ok?  What are we supposed to do when we get inside?"

He will respond, "Jacket.  Shoes.  Socks."  Good enough!

He will run up to you, grab your finger, pull and say, "Mommy/Daddy, come play.  Come play.  Come play cars."  He will lead you to the toys, then say, "Sit down mommy/daddy.  Right here."

He responds to questions like, "What time is it?"  If it is after dinner, he will say, "Vitamin!" or "Bath time!"  Both are correct.

We had ants coming into the house through the floor vents.  The house is on concrete slab which cracks over time.  I am *so* not cool with this occurrence, but it is predictable and can be handled with Raid ant traps.  E's eyesight is phenomenal.  So, one day, he points to the carpet and says, "A is for ant."  Sure enough, there's an ant.

I feel bad sometimes because I've made my son neurotic about bugs.  I don't like bugs.  Don't care what kind.  We get wolf crickets which are super ugly and erratically hoppy during the cold weather.  I hate them.  We get stink bugs on occasion.  Rarely, we'll see a spider.  I make G catch and release, so we keep a quart wonton container and piece of cardboard to make the capture.  Now, E will see something on the floor, run and get the tupperware to catch it, then say, "Bug!  Bug!", in a worried voice.  Oh no....This is so my fault.

Recently, I found that that over the last three weeks his behavior has been digressing and he has not been listening at school.  He won't participate in circle time and wants to wander the room.  He pushes around chairs.  He pushed his best friend and refused to apologize even though his friend did.  I feel like an awful parent.  He is disruptive and setting a bad example for the younger kids.  He's one of the older ones, and I feel like he should've been moved up to the 2.5 yo room and is getting bored in this one.  The same thing happened in his previous room.  He's just NOT listening, even at home.  The time out chair is going to start real soon.

Part of me feels like it is my fault.  G has been doing almost all the E care since I can't pick him up.  He is too heavy at 30 lbs.  I can pick him up if he is already elevated.  For example, if I can get him to stand in his car seat and grab onto me, we're OK.  I just can't pick him up out of the crib.  So, I bought little stepstools and they are all over the place.  He likes them.  He likes having independence.

I'm sick.  G came down with the cold first.  It has been going around work. Then, E got it.  Then I woke up on Saturday feeling pretty awful.  My turn, YAY!  It's hard to go go go all the time between working FT, tending to E, making sure our food situation is handled, etc.  I think we do keep up pretty well, but at what cost?

I need to rest.  It has been go go go today, and I even stayed home from work to rest.  Will need to stay home tomorrow also.  Using up vacation, which i what I need to hoard in order to get PAID during maternity leave once disability runs out.

Without getting too political, the US is so far behind when it comes to maternity policies, and it seems like it will only get worse under this new regime.  God help us all.

No Belly, A Birthday, and Come on, guy!!

During the usual evening hustle and bustle in the kitchen preparing dinner, E comes up real close to me while I'm standing with my back to the sink, looks up and says, "No belly.  Mommy, no belly."

This is the first time he has acknowledged my growing belly.  I'm past the fat-or-pregnant phase with a little basketball protruding from my midsection.

"Belly!!"  I start rubbing it, smiling.  He usually likes to play belly games.

"No belly."

Oh man...think fast.   I lift up my shirt and pull down the maternity stretchy panel of my leggings and point to my belly button.  "Belly button?  See?  Belly button!  Where's your belly button?"

"Right there!!"  E points to his, lifting up his shirt.  Then, points to mine.  Then, lifts the panel up and down and up and down on my belly, then pulls my shirt down and up having fun.

We haven't told him yet.  I need to go go the library and get some big brother books; just things that will clue him into what is going on.  His little brother will be here in just four months, and time is flying by fast.  We haven't even started the transition yet in putting E's big boy room together with a race car toddler bed.  It's not for lack of trying.  It is just exhausting working full time, being pregnant, keeping up with...life, and of course, being a mom.  As you can imagine, I do absolutely ZERO for myself.

Going back full time was a recent change.  I didn't want to, believe me.  But, full time insurance benefits are vastly different than part time, and I needed to do it.  It's short term.  When I come back from maternity leave I will be part time again for a while until we figure out what the new normal is.  The terrible thing is that sometimes even getting 20 hours in was hard, and this wasn't even with watching E for the other 20.  He is in school for a full day, though, I try to make it such that it is only 8 hours.  Some kids are there for ten.  Poor kids.  While E enjoys it, I still would like to spend SOME time at home with my kid, you know??

**

We celebrated E's birthday last weekend.  He's two, can you believe it?  NY family drove in, and we invited our neighbor friends who also have kids E's age.  It was a lot of work to get the fake-house ready, get supplies, order food, get set up, entertain, tear down, clean up.  I like entertaining, but it is a lot of work.  E had a blast, and even the adults enjoyed themselves.  We had sushi, pizza, subs and lasagna as main courses.  Thomas the Train was the party theme.  It was a lot of work, and I was wiped out for the next several days, but it felt good that it went so well.  I'll enjoy the at home parties while I can.  Looking into parties outside of the house, like, at the trampoline place, or indoor kid playspace, or Chuck-E-Cheese is sooo pricey.  We will have to set limits later.  People around here do crazy things; it's just too bourgeoise.  I know someone who had her daughter's birthday tea party at the Ritz Carlton.  You bring your American Girl doll with you.

Say what?

**

The crazy thing about toddlers is that you can say something once, and they remember it.  That said, I've cleaned up my driving commentary to phrases like, "Nice, guy!!" and "Let's go!  Come ON, guy!!"  Those are substitutes for the usual things one might say when getting cut off, someone doesn't let you in, someone makes you miss a light, general bad driving, etc.

Diverging from our usual schedule, G picks up E from school one day.  (He usually does the a.m. drop off.)  When they get to the intersection where you need to make a left, it ebbs and flows depending on the light cycle.  You can usually get through, but when you get that person who had PLENTY of time to make the left, but didn't....that's when I usually start yelling.  Well, G is sitting there with E and has no clue.  Then, E starts saying, "Come on, guy.  Come on, guy."  G starts cracking up.  Which causes E to say it more.  Repeat.

I find it hilarious.  Besides, there's enough inadvertent cursing due to poor pronunciation.  For example, when E says "shirt", it doesn't always sound like shirt, if you know what I mean.  Sit, is another one.  "Sit.  Mommy, sit."  Gotta just let it go, you know?

Toddlers are A**holes

I think there's a book that already exists by that title.

It has been a while since last post.  Probably because there's an inverse relationship between free time and toddler mobility.  That, and I stare at screens way too much every day between work and wasting time on my phone.  I'm working on curbing the latter.  There can't be much benefit in climbing up the Candy Crush ladder.

E is his own little person.  Or, more accurately, a big personality in miniature form.  He wants what he wants, and is very verbal about it.  Lucky for us, his verbal communication has evolved from grunts, squeals, cries and babbles to words!  I wouldn't consider them sentences yet, but the point gets across.

"More, please!"
"More orange, please!"
"Daddy sit here." <pats spot>
"Mum mum time!"
"Bathtime, YAY!"
"Alright!" or "Nice!"  <when he does something he's proud of, patting himself on the back, basically>

He also understands everything.  I swear.  He really does.  He will be two next month, and everyone asks, "What can I get him?"  It's hard between Christmas and his birthday being so close together.  With all the hand-me-downs and generous family friends and grandparents, we're fortunate to have an abundance of toys and clothes.  But there is one thing he could use, and it's a hearing aid to correct the selective hearing he has.

Tonight at dinner, he was spitefully flinging food about and playing with his food, EXTRA messy, and deliberate.  I warned him, to no avail, and so he sat there with nothing on his tray.  No problem though, because then he proceeded to hit the high chair tray and kick his feet against its footrest creating a ruckus.  "All done mommy.  All done!  All done!"

"That's great.  But I'm not done yet."

I guess I could have excused him but G wasn't home yet and I can't see through walls :)

In the bath, he poured water OUT of the tub with an evil Chuckie smile watching me the whole time.

He kicked me the entire time on the changing table while I struggled to put Aquaphor on him, then his pajamas.

I'll tell you, I wanted to lose my sh*t and start yelling, but he doesn't respond to that.  I signed up for a parenting webinar, naively looking for the magic bullet.  That's tomorrow.  I can only hope, right?

Sad News

This isn't about Boo.

He and I went back to see my parents over the weekend.  Just a mommy-and-Boo trip because three whole days flanked with half days is just too much for my other half to take squished into one house.  It was great to see the family.  It was so much fun to watch Boo play with his two cousins, ages 2 and 4.  It's a lot of work to travel by yourself with a kid in tow.  We flew.  Boo was an angel on the way there because he was sleeping (ha!) and about 30% a pain in the butt on the way back since he took his nap in the car en route to the airport.  Oy.

We were hanging out at the house doing la-dee-dah-whatever relaxing and then there's a phone call then crying.  An extended family member whom we all like and hang out with had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  That's the kind that has metastasized and has been identified in two organs already.  Who? No, you mean OUR relative?  Can't be.  The silence of pure shock sets in and I'm not sure anyone is actually breathing in the room.  I think it is because we just heard a death sentence.

The news is sad and unfortunate, but at this stage in my life as a new mom, it is profoundly worse.  Life is punctuated by milestones.  Sure, we each have our own like high school graduation, turning 21, getting married, etc.  but if you add it up, there are so many more you experience achieved by loved ones than your own.  I am definitely caught up in the rat race.  Aren't we all?  It seems like so many days slip by that are lived, but not experienced mindfully.  Wouldn't it be so wonderful to be grateful for each day?  To find that something, where if you were given a short time to live, you could say, "Ok, well, I've really enjoyed my time here, but it's my time to go now."

Yeah, right.

The news made me realize that I WANT.  I want a LOT of things.  I WANT to be at my son's graduations.  I WANT to be at my sister's wedding when/if it happens.  I WANT to spend time with my nephews, and maybe one day, a niece.  And of all the things I WANT, spending time with loved ones (no matter how annoying, or what the beef is) bubbles up to the top of the list.  To think that our extended family member will not get these kinds of things is heartbreaking because we all assume that we get them.  Because we just do.  We hope for the best.

Life's not fair.  In looking up the origin of that adage, I found this article.  I'm not religious, but I do think it has several interesting points.

I am thankful for the opportunity to spend as much time as I was able to with my parents and sisters this weekend.  I am thankful to be surrounded by friends and family who are incredibly supportive.

What are you thankful for?

9 months 1 week: Teeth, and Ear Infection

I don't know if I mentioned it but Boo is on helmet #2.  Now that he is older, stronger and mobile, he is aware of it and takes it off when he is overheating, hungry, frustrated, etc.  Does the helmet help?  Who knows.  Certainly not in the ways we hoped it would with the asymmetry and ear alignment.  He ends this "treatment" in December, so basically, he gets the helmet off as his Christmas present.  Seriously.  It's his last day in it.

And I guess as OUR Christmas present, we get our sweet little helmet-free boy back.  He has been in it since he was 5 months old.  Do you think in 100 years people will look back and laugh at the fact that we used these helmets?  That it was totally ridiculous?

So let's see, what's new:

• Lots of talking, primarily da-da-da and gug-gug-gug but nothing even close to ma-ma-ma
• Standing up in the crib to turn on his mobile for amusement
• TWO bottom teeth
• Eating purees proficiently, and eating solids at school (e.g., pancakes and sausage, hamburger, turkey and cheese, pita, yogurt, banana, cereal, blueberries)
• Couch surfing rather proficiently
• Noticing when we aren't in the room at home, but he couldn't care less at school
• Mommy preference when ill; found that out this week with his first real fever (104.1 peak) and ear infection
• Leaning out some, but still has chins.  I really thought he was going to be wearing 4's, but he is still in 3's.  Now I have a stack of diapers in the den that won't be used for a while.
• Transitioning to 18 month clothes.  The tops fit well.  The bottoms are way too long, so he is still in 12 month pants.  Chuck showed up one day with a HUGE bag of clothes; at least eleven outfits he bought for Boo!  Uncle Chuck is very kind.

We had our first "major" social family outing last weekend at a local family friendly winery.  A friend and I created a work Facebook group for colleagues who have an infant, particularly because 2015 was the Year of the Babies.  I am so not kidding.  So, we had seven babies present!  And, one of the mommies coordinated an order for custom onesies with the company logo, so we took a picture with all of us.  It was fun, but man, it was blustery.  If it wasn't so windy, it would have been an ideal October day.  Brr!

Also, it was Grant's birthday last weekend so I invited good friends of his who just moved back here from NYC and Aunt Corey and we went to Top Golf and stayed and played and ate and drank for five hours.  FIVE.  It was awesome and I think Grant really enjoyed his birthday this year.

I did too.  You know what I did NOT enjoy?  The Corelle dishes I got him for his birthday.  He has been wanting them for a long time and I've been saying no-no-no because it marks the end of any stylized dinnerware that is clearly NOT Corelle.  I don't know; I guess it's because I grew up with Corelle and it just seems...old?

Who am I kidding.  We have a minivan.  We are in our mid-thirties.  I have three gray hairs.  We were the oldest couple at the winery and possibly the oldest couple in our Facebook group.

You know what's not cool?  I found out a friend of mine had some eggs frozen at 35, then several rounds of IVF for baby #1 and baby #2 two years later, because you know, tick-tock and all.  Why the heck didn't I freeze my eggs when I was young and eggy in my early 20s?  Oh, because I thought I would be married and settled and so forth much younger.

And, Boo is up from his nap and crying.  Gotta go.

Life As I Know It

I kind of forgot about this blog in the flurry of well, life.  It takes every ounce of energy and a ridiculous amount of focus to be functional when checking out isn't an option while in the depths of postpartum depression.  Things are better in general now, I think, thanks to a combination of meds and behavioral therapy.  Even with help, it is still hard.  I feel sorry for mommas who put their heads down and just push through.

I should mention that Boo is 8.5 months old.  MONTHS, people!

He has personality now, and is very responsive.  It's a very fun time and I'm enjoying it.  He's eating solids, albeit in mostly puree form.  I plan on introducing "real" solids soon, like, little pieces of carrot, banana, overcooked pasta and whatever else I can think of that Boo will be able to pick up and eat without choking.  I was late in introducing solids and bigger solids, so he is behind.  Other babies in his class are feeding themselves.

And, other stuff has changed on the other end thanks to the introduction of solids.  The first time we saw it, I took a picture and sent it to my sister asking, "Is this...normal?  Should I be concerned?"

First time parents.  Tsk, tsk.

He crawls and pulls himself up proficiently.  He will crawl straight to me when he sees me.  He will flip out when I'm out of sight.  Before, he didn't care.  He babbles and prefers "ga" and "da".  He doesn't really make sounds that require lips to be pressed together.  No "ma", "pa", "ba".  It is odd though, because when he first started talking, he started with "wa-wa-wa-wa-wa" which doesn't require your tongue to move the way saying "ga" or "da" do.

He claps his hands but not in the way you're thinking.  It's more like banging them together instead of an expression of delight.

He will be walking very soon.

He is a giant baby, but starting to look like a little boy especially when he passes developmental milestones.  I know he was a teeny tiny impossibly small human being months ago, but I can hardly imagine it.  I have to look at pictures.  And looking at those pictures is a huge emotional trigger making those moments, good and bad, feel like the present.  It hurts.  My therapist said that I am traumatized, and I think she is right.  I enjoy my baby, but I am racked with guilt because thinking back causes sadness.

Things are easier because we all definitely have a routine.  Sure, it drifts here and there when it comes to start and end times, but the order of operations is set.  And, it's the same thing.  Every.  Single. Day.  This is how 8 months passes like it's nothing even though some days and weeks were excruciatingly long.  When things get easier, it seems like you'd have more time, but without fail, there's always something else to fill that time slot.

The only time you will see me sitting on the weekends is when I'm eating, feeding Boo, folding laundry, or driving.  I am not even kidding.

It's almost 9:30pm, which means it is bedtime.  I'm not kidding about that either.  Until next time...

Registry versus Reality: Part 1

Now that Boo is almost seven months old and I have an entire (unusable as a guest) bedroom overflowing with things he either outgrew in a flash, never wore, never used, never liked, extra stuff we bought, etc. it has become clear that we don't actually know what we need until we need it.  This thought came to mind while browsing a friend's baby registry.

When we made ours, we didn't know what we were doing either.  Plus, isn't part of the fun making the baby registry?  Here's your scanner!  Go on a shopping spree paid for by others!  And, don't forget your goodie bag on the way out!

This is what we actually use:

• Muslin crib sheets by Aden & Anais.  So soft.  So light.
• Muslin swaddles by Aden & Anais.  Ditto.  Lots of uses.  We have a lot, but I'd say we actually just us four, tops.
• Two waterproof crib mattress covers.  You need two.
• Bulb aspirator that comes apart for cleaning.  It's called the BoogieBulb.  We cannot live with out this contraption.  The one from the hospital gets SO disgusting on the inside and you cannot clean it.  (Nose Frida doesn't work when you have respiratory issues, even if it has hundreds of 5 star ratings on Amazon.)
• Ikea changing pad covers.  $4.99 each.  We have probably 20 of these.  There are easily 10 in a drawer beneath the changing pad.  When #1 or #2 strike, it comes right off, into the wet bin, then a new one is available in 2 seconds flat.  There's one in each diaper bag.  Those silly little padded place mats just don't work when baby is more than 2 weeks old.  Plus, those Koala Care changing tables in restrooms are gross and this cover is so large that it blankets the whole thing.  THEN you can place your padded place mat atop it for baby.  Also great for the car when you change baby in the trunk of the SUV or minivan because the restroom is just. not. happening.  Seriously, these things are the best.
• Ikea washcloths.  $3.99 for ten.  These are just normal cotton wash cloths; nothing fancy.  We bought four packs because I was convinced that babies are messy.  Then, we didn't use any of them.  Now, we use ALL of them.  There is always something that needs to be cleaned up.  They work as pee-pee tee-pees.  They wipe up drool, spit-up, pee, food on baby, yourself and/or surfaces.  We use them to wipe inside the cranial band.  Boo likes to chew on a clean one while waiting to be changed.
• A&D, Baby Aquaphor, Desitin diaper rash cream, wipes and diapers like there's no tomorrow.
• A simple tub with sling.  The sling here is supported and not a hammock like almost all the other ones.
• Sea sponge, soft wash cloths and Burt's Bees baby wash.
• Joovy Boob bottles.  You're not going to see these anywhere except for Buy Buy Baby, but these are the best bottles since they have the longest nipple.  They are expensive, but after using Gerber, Avent and Tommee Tippee, we like these best.  This is good for moms who want to breast and bottle feed.  It's also good for tongue tied babies (whose tie has been clipped) because it encourages proper sucking which can reshape their palate.  According to Boo's pediatric dentist, the tie prevents proper sucking, so the palate tends to be vaulted in babies with tongue tie.  This can lead to issues with breastfeeding, and sinus issues since the sinus cavity is smaller due to the palate position.
• Onesies, soft shorts and soft pants.  While it's cute to dress up baby like they're about to have a Nautica or J.Crew photo shoot, it is difficult to get them in and out of the nicer clothes, plus, the material tends to be scratchy.  We were originally sold on the sleepers.  Easy, right?  Built in socks, one piece, zipper?  But threading a squirmy baby into pant legs you can't scrunch up while containing huge diaper butt became a lot less fun as baby got more mobile.
• Basic drying rack, Boon drying rack and doo-dads.  Why?  Because it's nice to have something sorta organize all those gazillion small bottle parts; plus it's fun to look at.
• Babyganics Bottle Wash and OXO bottle brush
• Dreft baby laundry detergent
• Formula
• Magic Bullet to make baby food puree.  Put into ice cube trays for freezing individual portions.  You really don't need anything fancy.
• Baby monitor, kinda.  Ours is a hand-me-down.  Some folks have fancy wi-fi setups and apps on their phones and what have you.  The truth is, we don't really use it.  It's nice to check in on baby, so when I need to do that, I will power it on for a minute.  Or, get up and pop into the nursery.  When that thing is on in the bedroom, nobody sleeps.  The display is bright.  It picks up every squeak like it is supposed to, but you don't necessarily need to know about every squeak!  My baby monitor right now are my ears.  When Boo is screaming bloody murder it means something is wrong and that amounts to a diaper situation or hunger.
• Carseat and stroller combo.  The kind where the infant carrier pops into the stroller that can be used as the baby gets older; not that cheap cart that doesn't turn.  We got a good deal on ours, so we didn't do any research.  Works for us!
• Feeding char, something along the lines of this.  Proper high char takes up a lot of space.  Haven't needed to go there yet, so this works for now.
• Large fleece blankets to put on the floor.  We had ones already on hand from Ikea and Walmart.  All the cutesy stroller blankets just aren't big enough.
• BIBS.  These are the best ones so far because they are waterproof but have terry on BOTH sides.  Boo likes to gum his bibs, and all the other waterproof ones I found are terry on top and plastic on the bottom.  Meh.  We have 20 of these.  Don't cheap out on bibs.  Cheap bibs get soggy in two seconds and the velcro is scratchy and often not adequately covered while fastened on baby.
• This moose toy was sent to us as a gift.  When I opened the box, I was like, ooOOookay.  As it turns out, it has crazy ratings on Amazon and is Boo's favorite toy.  Go figure!
• Sophie, the giraffe teether.  He LOVES this one too, but you cannot leave baby unattended.  He manages to get a leg in the way back of his throat and has gagged himself many times.  Sophie is very bendy, so it's easy to get into this situation with a larger, stronger baby.  Lots of places to hold onto.
• Baby gym.  I bought this one from Amazon based on reviews, but Boo doesn't care at all about the lights and music.  He will entertain himself.  The funny part is, he LOVES the mirror most.  We took it off of the gym and he plays with it on the side.

There's plenty more.  So, registry-wise, the bedding and Aden stuff, carseat/stroller, Sophie and consumables (baby wash, detergent, ointments), and bibs were on the list.  But, what about lots of other things?  Wait for Registry versus Reality: Part 2!