I kind of forgot about this blog in the flurry of well, life. It takes every ounce of energy and a ridiculous amount of focus to be functional when checking out isn't an option while in the depths of postpartum depression. Things are better in general now, I think, thanks to a combination of meds and behavioral therapy. Even with help, it is still hard. I feel sorry for mommas who put their heads down and just push through.
I should mention that Boo is 8.5 months old. MONTHS, people!
He has personality now, and is very responsive. It's a very fun time and I'm enjoying it. He's eating solids, albeit in mostly puree form. I plan on introducing "real" solids soon, like, little pieces of carrot, banana, overcooked pasta and whatever else I can think of that Boo will be able to pick up and eat without choking. I was late in introducing solids and bigger solids, so he is behind. Other babies in his class are feeding themselves.
And, other stuff has changed on the other end thanks to the introduction of solids. The first time we saw it, I took a picture and sent it to my sister asking, "Is this...normal? Should I be concerned?"
First time parents. Tsk, tsk.
He crawls and pulls himself up proficiently. He will crawl straight to me when he sees me. He will flip out when I'm out of sight. Before, he didn't care. He babbles and prefers "ga" and "da". He doesn't really make sounds that require lips to be pressed together. No "ma", "pa", "ba". It is odd though, because when he first started talking, he started with "wa-wa-wa-wa-wa" which doesn't require your tongue to move the way saying "ga" or "da" do.
He claps his hands but not in the way you're thinking. It's more like banging them together instead of an expression of delight.
He will be walking very soon.
He is a giant baby, but starting to look like a little boy especially when he passes developmental milestones. I know he was a teeny tiny impossibly small human being months ago, but I can hardly imagine it. I have to look at pictures. And looking at those pictures is a huge emotional trigger making those moments, good and bad, feel like the present. It hurts. My therapist said that I am traumatized, and I think she is right. I enjoy my baby, but I am racked with guilt because thinking back causes sadness.
Things are easier because we all definitely have a routine. Sure, it drifts here and there when it comes to start and end times, but the order of operations is set. And, it's the same thing. Every. Single. Day. This is how 8 months passes like it's nothing even though some days and weeks were excruciatingly long. When things get easier, it seems like you'd have more time, but without fail, there's always something else to fill that time slot.
The only time you will see me sitting on the weekends is when I'm eating, feeding Boo, folding laundry, or driving. I am not even kidding.
It's almost 9:30pm, which means it is bedtime. I'm not kidding about that either. Until next time...
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