Empathy, Part I (Pregnancy)

We are "those" people now with baby in tow, and it has opened up a whole new perspective. 

My pregnancy, transition to motherhood and three month old son Ethan have changed me in ways I didn't anticipate.  I knew things would be different, but more in terms of activities, work-life balance and time management which fall into day-to-day mechanics.  I did not know that there would also be an emotional shift.

I was put on strict bed rest at 24 weeks into my pregnancy due to complications.  I cried a little every day for several weeks out of fear for the health of my baby and the inadequacy of my body.  I felt at fault for a long time before accepting that things just happen.  Early on, the baby was frank breech and remained in that position which meant a c-section.  I spent hours searching the internet for stories of success and failure, statistics and support groups hoping for the positive, but the negative has a tendency to imprint a little bit deeper.

This happened abruptly.  We went together to my sonogram in the morning with the plan to go to work immediately afterward.  You know, to continue the daily grind until the next appointment.  That didn't happen.  After a hit and run at the office to grab a few things and put up an out-of-office message, that was it.  My world changed.  Grant's world changed.  Just like that.  I didn't realize it at the time, but I was done.  Done until the end, however that would turn out.

Then, the unexpected occurred.  There was an outpouring of support from friends, family, acquaintances and coworkers.  Everything from cards, calls, emails, sending gifts to keep me entertained, setting up MealTrain to coordinate sending food, cooking food here, cooking food and bringing it over to dine together, workday lunch visits, weekend drop-ins, extended visits, housework and chores that required running around, taking me to essential appointments, helping with home emergencies and emotional support 24/7. 

To make things even more complicated, we had just moved from a condo to a house three days prior.

My baby shower was cancelled.  Guests sent gifts anyway.  Even second degree acquaintances!

When I returned to work, I was surprised with a baby shower in the conference room.  There were bagels, pastries, fresh fruit and beverages including mimosas!  My coworkers were there, even the aloof ones.  They pitched in and presented me with a card full of gift cards.  They were very generous.

The kindness of others had a profound effect on me.  All this was unsolicited, and completely altruistic.  People truly do rise to the occasion in times of difficulty.  Each gesture of kindness regardless of magnitude was so touching.  It mattered deeply and I needed it.  I cried out of happiness because I felt loved, and those are tears worth shedding.

I look forward to opportunities where I can pay it forward, no matter how big or small.