Empathy, Part II (Post Partum)

Before Ethan, I'm pretty sure I was one of those self entitled snarky yuppies quick to judge others and definitely cursing my luck when sitting at the gate observing families with babies and young children about to board my flight.  That's right, my flight.

The first time we left the house with Ethan, it took ONE hour to make it out the door.  That was due to lack of experience.  We are much better at it now, but even so, there's always something that happens.  A quick diaper change before leaving the house results in pee getting on my shirt.  A quick feeding before we go results in spit up.  I realize that his extra change of clothes no longer fit, and I didn't refill the bag with diapers or bibs from our last outing.  Not to mention the bottles in case there's a hunger meltdown!

It's easy now.  Baby.  Diaper bag.  Bottles.  Snap in/out infant car seat, and car seat stroller frame.  As long as we have those items, we're good to go.  Yet, it still seems hard and I'm not inclined to go on outings even though we have a content immobile infant.  Are we squandering this opportunity?  What am I afraid of?

It's not that.  The logistics are easy, at least, for local outings.  And, as long as we're together.  But a task like going to the grocery with just me and baby?  (He hates the carrier.) Or, running in to pick up the take out?  There's no such thing as "quick" anymore.  Even a diaper change outside of the house takes forever.  And my child is immobile!!

Here's a nod of respect for those families with young children and babies.  It takes effort to put yourself in someone else's shoes when you can't relate to their situation.  But, when their situation is a lot closer to home, that changes everything.  Before baby, travel meant one small duffel carry on for each of us.  Now?  Car seat and base, stroller frame, pack and play (maybe), diaper bag contents and then some, plus the stuff we need.  More time, more effort, more variables including things that are out of your control.

I'm now part of the universal bond of parenthood.  Of motherhood.   This makes everything bigger.  Love.  Compassion.  Patience.  Everything matters a whole lot more.

About that screaming infant in the seat in front of yours?  He needs comfort, not criticism.  We're all doing the best we can.